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Sunday, 24 September 2017
SBC
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Sunday, 6 November 2016
Exclusive
Updated: 10 November

Lovebirds councillors flee to US of A

Demands to stop paying Cllrs James Swindlehurst & Natasa Pantelic
as unavailable for residents

Reporter: Paul Janik
An enlarged tiny photo previously on US web site Buzzfeed (tiny photo now vanished)
Left: Cllr Natasa Pantelic. Right: Cllr James Swindlehurst.

A sleepy Slough awoke to the latest news from across the Atlantic that the councillors who gave us the dreadful sub-standard £12 million open-air Slug bus station and the £25 million sardine-can Curve with no parking spaces not even for staff or for the bride and groom at weddings, have fled to the USA leaving others to clean-up their detritus.

MP Fiona MacTaggart's favourite councillor Natasa Pantelic and Natasa's soul-mate, and sometimes house-mate, James Swindlehurst were spotted holidaying together in the USA.

Labour Party sources told the Slough Times that Natasa, who sometimes lives in James' Cippenham Lane semi-detached home, manages to wrap James around her little finger. James, always known for his considerable intellect and occasional outbursts is said to docile under Natasa's calming influence.

The pair flew to America to gain political experience from the USA presidential campaign between Anti-EU candidate Donald Trump and pro-EU candidate Hillary Clinton, wife of former USA president Bill.

Natasa and James both want to become Labour Party MPs. James, an unsuccessful European Union MP (MEP) candidate, also failed to get chosen as a parliamentary candidate for the High Wycombe area.

Some have suggested the happy couple might secretly marry whilst in the USA.

Meanwhile back in Slough, in colder temperatures than the pair are currently enjoying in the US state of North Carolina, residents in both Natasa's Cippenham Meadows ward and James's Cippenham Green ward complain they can not get a reply from the couple now deeply involved in the USA election.

Several disgruntled voters told the Slough Times the pair should not be paid council money whilst working in a foreign election campaign on a foreign continent more than 3,000 miles away.

However women voters were less critical of the couple. One told the Slough Times

Everyone is only young once. Its nice to see such a happy couple. Let them stay away as long as they like. Slough is a dump and has little to offer young people.

Should the happy couple wish to share some of their USA photographs with us, we would be pleased to consider publishing an article on their election experiences and, if they wish to confide in us, news of their just good friends happy relationship.

On Wednesday afternoon, our office received an irate telephone call from Hillary Clinton's New York campaign headquarters, saying before the happy holidaying Swindlehurst couple arrived stateside, Hillary was doing extremely well and was going to win the presidential election. Now its a disaster that is going to effect the whole world, the sad worker said.

Our second caller, a long time friend of Labour councillor Satpal Palmer, was a lot happier. For years, he said, Cllr Mrs Swindlehurst, nee Pantelic, was too ill to campaign in Slough, even at her own election. Voters, we were told, genuinely thought Natasa Pantelic was a man because they always saw Cllr Palmer doing the canvassing.

Its great this blossoming affair has rejuvenated Natasa and made her fit and well. We look forward to the happy pair campaigning together in the local elections.

Having put his phone down, Cllr Palmer's friend quickly called back saying:

On second thoughts, seeing what happened when they campaigned in America, I'm not sure we should take the risk - we could loose every seat.

We are going to organise a collection to send them on holiday at election time. Its safer that way.